Four Attendings and a PA
by Catmint
Summary: What is the most unlikely romantic pairing in season 5 County General? Doug Ross and Kerry Weaver unite to answer that very question with shocking and surprising results.
1. Part 1

Four Attendings and a PA

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Disclaimer: Not mine. All are the property of Michael Crichton and the producers/etc. of ER.

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A/N: This first got written 5 years ago, when Jeannie, Doug and Carol (and Benton and Doyle) were still in the show. It's set near the start of season 5. It's my first ever ER fic, and having finally unearthed it and tweaked it a little and reorganised the format, I decided to post it.

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A/N 2: one of my friends challenged me to write a romance fic featuring the most unlikely pairing I could think of. The only requirement was that they both had to work in the hospital and be official ER characters.

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Part 1

"See you finish those charts, Kerry," Rocket Romano ordered in his usual authoritarian (some might call it rude) manner that got up the backs of the entirety of County General's staff, from the Chief of Staff (one Donald Anspaugh) to the cafeteria staff.

Kerry Weaver, one of the ER's attendings, just scowled back at him. "Your wish is my command," she muttered sarcastically, watching him saunter back up to surgery.

"You too?" inquired paediatrician Doug Ross from nearby, overhearing her comments.

"Yes. Why does he always have to be so grouchy and rude?"

"I dunno," Doug replied with a shrug of his shoulders. He got down on the floor and began rummaging in the boxes on the bottom shelf behind the front desk. "Maybe he's lacking a woman – and _luuuurve_…"

"Oh, please. Our cheery colleague doesn't know what love is," Kerry retorted dismissively. She stopped reading through the lab report in her hand and instead peered down at Doug, a perplexed expression on her face. "Doug, what _are_ you looking for down there?"

"Conni dumped a book in here a while ago. Something to do with getting people happy through love," Doug explained distractedly, tossing an old set of scrubs aside.

"Romano binned that a while ago. None of us had the guts to retrieve it," Charge Nurse Carol Hathaway announced, entering into the vicinity of the two doctors. "Kerry, the guy in Exam Two can go home." Kerry nodded, taking the chart and flicking through it, before heading off.

"What do you want it for?" Carol asked Doug curiously. She was always intrigued by anything that could make Kerry Weaver and Doug Ross have a conversation without World War Three breaking out.

"Kerry and I were just thinking about how maybe Romano could be nicer if he was in love," he responded, flashing her a quick, adoring grin before returning to his rummaging. Carol was _not_ impressed when an airborne lab coat made its landing on her head.

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"Thanks for paging me, Kerry. I'll take her from here." OB/GYN attending Janet Coburn nodded curtly at Kerry, who pulled off the latex gloves as she stood in Trauma One.

"Certainly, Dr. Coburn," she muttered sarcastically under her breath, glaring at the other doctor's retreating back. Janet Coburn was far from her favourite member of staff. She was far from _anyone's_ favourite. "Least I could do."

Nurse Haleh Adams glanced at her. "Everything OK, Dr. Weaver?" she inquired curiously.

"Hmmm? Oh, yes. Fine. Where's Doug Ross?"

Haleh looked surprised at this. Kerry and Doug absolutely _hated_ each other, so why did she suddenly need to speak to him without sounding annoyed? "What's he done to upset you _now_?"

"Nothing. Just an idea…"

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"Doug, Kerry wants to meet you at Magoo's. Something about Romano?" Carol said, munching on a doughnut as she flicked through a chart. "_Now_, by the way."

"Oh, right. I know what Kerry's like with her 'now's. See you later." He hurried across the street to the ER staff's most convenient non-hospital hangout, and quickly spotted Kerry in the corner booth. "Why the privacy here?" he asked her as he slid into the booth after obtaining a coffee.

"Didn't want to get overheard," she told him, an impatient tone in her voice as though the reason was blindingly obvious.

"Carol said something about Romano."

Kerry nodded. "Oh yes. I just got hit by an idea. Coburn was in superbitch mode with me earlier, so I figured, she's awful, he's even worse…Match made in heaven, don't you think?" She looked up at her fellow attending hopefully.

Doug almost choked on his coffee in shock. "Are you _seriously_ suggesting what I _think_ you're suggesting?"

She shrugged. "Depends what you think I'm suggesting."

"Are you suggesting that we set them up?"

He gaped as the redhead nodded firmly. It was not often that Doug Ross was rendered speechless.

"Oh, yes. Most definitely," she assured him. "We need to…set the wheels in motion, as it were, for them, though."

He contemplated this for a moment, then, deciding that he liked it, stuck out a hand and they shook. "Deal."

"So, what do we do first?" she asked, leaning in close to minimise the possibility of being overheard.

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"Something's going on." He flipped through a chart.

"Damn right. Since when are _those_ two friends?" She scanned an order form.

"Since they're plotting something, I bet."

"The question is, _what_? I know Doug said – and Kerry agreed (which is a miracle in itself, if you ask me) – that Romano would be nicer if he was in love…"

Mark Greene looked at Carol. "They're setting him up."

"But who with?" Carol wondered. "I mean, who's that bad as to deserve being set up with _Romano_?" She shuddered at the prospect.

"Maybe I'll get it out of them."

"Maybe. See you."

"Bye."

Mark watched Carol stride over to the other two attendings. "Kerry, Doug, what's going on?" she demanded.

"Romano needs a girlfriend," Doug told her brightly. "So _we're_ gonna do something about it." He nodded to Kerry. "You ready?"

"Oh yes. I just hope I don't laugh."

"You do and you're dead. Got it?" He pointed his fingers at her in an imitation of a gun.

"Yes, sir." Kerry saluted him sharply. "Off to Romano."

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"Is Dr. Romano about?"

"Who's asking?" an unfamiliar woman retorted. Kerry deduced that she was the new resident.

"Kerry Weaver. It's kind of important." She indicated the charts she'd dumped on the desk.

"He's just coming," Elizabeth Corday, the British surgeon, informed Kerry as she came up behind her. "What's up?"

Kerry picked up the charts. "He wanted these dropped off, but I figured I'd better give them to him in person, in case they go wandering. Sometimes charts have a life of their own." _And the odd created love letter slipped in amongst them_, she added mentally.

Elizabeth nodded. "I know what you mean. Oh, here he is."

"Dr. Romano," Kerry called out, "I have those charts you wanted."

"About time." He practically snatched them from her and strode off.

Kerry glared after him. "And thank you, Dr. Weaver," she muttered sarcastically. "So kind of you to bring them up to me."

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"Any action from Subject RR yet?" Doug asked Kerry as they hurried down the El steps the next day.

She shook her head. "I hope he got it," she worried. "If it got lost and turned up somewhere else, God knows what could happen."

"You did type it, didn't you?"

"Do you think I'm really that stupid? Wait, don't answer that, Doug. If it was handwritten I'd have to imitate Coburn's handwriting and then he wouldn't be able to read it anyway!"

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He'd read it, all right. As he drove into work that day, Robert 'Rocket' Romano smiled to himself. It was an _interesting_ note, to say the least. Typed, but not signed. And whoever it was had told him to meet her in the end booth at Doc Magoo's by the jukebox at 2pm today.

What he _didn't_ know was that two attendings and a PA – Jeanie Boulet had been let into this after catching Kerry, her best friend, writing the note – would be in the booth right next to them.

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TBC


	2. Part 2

Four Attendings and a PA

Disclaimer: still not mine

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Author thanks: Margaret, krazypirategurl, lucidity, Tammy (are you ever going to reply to that e-mail I sent you?)

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Part 2

"Dr. Coburn. A note for you." One of the OB nurses, Abby Lockhart, handed the blue envelope to the doctor. She opened it, but on scanning the contents, decided it would be better to read it in her office. At least she was in early (for once) and had the time to do so. She made her way into the office, Abby hovering in the doorway with a pile of charts in her arms but unseen by the doctor.

"Oh yes?" she murmured, raising her eyebrows. A secret admirer? He was evidently keen, as the note ended with: "…_meet me in the end booth at Doc Magoo's, by the jukebox. 2pm Friday. Be there. Love, a secret admirer_." She put the note back in the envelope and gasped as rose petals fell out.

"Well, I'll be…" she gasped, clearly impressed. What she didn't know was that the rose petals had come from Carol Hathaway's back yard…

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"And then _rose petals_ fell out!"

"No _way_!" gasped the nurses gathered around the front desk of the ER.

"_Yes_, way. I saw them on her desk!" Abby had attracted quite a crowd around her as she recounted her tale. Strangely, Kerry Weaver wasn't about to have a go at them for not doing any work. Nobody except Jeanie saw her catch Doug's eye and give him a small, subtle thumbs-up.

Kerry joined the small crowd. "What's this I hear about rose petals?" she asked curiously, feigning innocence.

Conni looked up at her, surprised. "I would've thought you'd be having a go at us and telling us to get back to work," she commented slightly sharply.

"I would, but we've only got five patients, and they're all being dealt with. So come on, what's the gossip?"

"Janet Coburn got a mysterious note in a blue envelope. When she opened it, rose petals fell out!" Abby told her, giggling. "Needless to say, I got told to get lost!"

"Wonder who it is?" Jeanie mused, knowing full well it was supposed to be Romano.

"If we're talking about love letters," a British voice chimed in, "let's just say Romano got an interesting note as well. I saw it on his desk earlier. He'd left it open."

Kerry and Jeanie exchanged knowing looks. This was going to be fun.

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"Lunch break?" Mark inquired.

Kerry nodded, slinging her bag over her head with her free hand. "I'll be in Doc Magoo's if there's an emergency."

"What's wrong with the cafeteria?"

"What's wrong with Magoo's?" she retorted, heading out of the door with Jeanie.

Mark smiled wryly. "True. And there aren't any stairs." He looked over to where Doug was putting his coat on as he walked out of the lounge. "Am I gonna be the only attending?" Mark complained.

"Too right, buddy. I'm heading for Magoo's."

"Joining Jeanie and Kerry?"

Doug feigned surprise. "They in there as well?"

"Yep."

"See ya."

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"Anytime now," Doug predicted. Coburn was already there, tapping her fingers on the table. She was oblivious to the fact that she was being set up and spied upon. After all, Doc Magoo's was a favourite hangout, so when she saw Kerry and Jeanie in a booth, she thought nothing of it. She hadn't seen Doug arrive – if she had, she'd know something was up. Kerry Weaver and Jeanie Boulet having lunch together was a common sight, and Jeanie Boulet and Doug Ross socialising was perfectly normal as well. Kerry Weaver and Doug Ross having lunch together, however, was very definitely _not_.

"He's coming!" Kerry hissed, dropping to the floor. If Romano saw her, he'd get suspicious _very_ fast. She pretended to be looking for something she'd dropped so as not to arouse attention from other customers.

Romano was whistling a tune, one which none of the conspirators could identify. He found the end booth, and got a shock when he saw Coburn there. "Janet! What are you doing here?"

She raised her eyebrows. "I could ask you the same thing."

"So, you're…"

"Who are…" they began at the same time, then laughed.

"You first," Romano said graciously.

"I'm supposed to be meeting someone. A secret admirer, apparently." She blushed, something that Janet Coburn very rarely did. "What about you?"

"Something like that for me," he admitted. An awkward silence descended.

"Soooo…" she began eventually. "Do we wait for them to turn up?"

Romano shrugged. "Might as well. Can I get you anything?"

"A hot chocolate with marshmallows and coloured sprinkles would be nice."

Romano gaped at her. "I don't believe it! Someone else who likes hot chocolate with marshmallows and coloured sprinkles! What a coincidence!" He left the booth to order them.

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"This is _very_ promising," Kerry said, scrambling up from the floor, somewhat awkwardly until Jeanie reached down and hauled her up. She pulled her hat on to hide her identity. "They have something in common other than work."

"And being single and grouchy," Doug added.

"Even if it's something as trivial as liking hot chocolate with marshmallows and coloured sprinkles," Jeanie finished, popping a piece of muffin in her mouth.

"Oh, I'm sure it's not the only thing," Doug assured her, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"_Doug_!" Jeanie slapped him very soundly on the arm.

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"Well, it's been twenty minutes. I don't think they're going to show," Romano commented, glancing at his watch. Secretly, he'd been hoping it was Elizabeth Corday.

"I think I agree," Coburn replied, sighing disappointedly. "And I'm due back in ten minutes."

"Me too," Romano said. "I guess we'd better make a move in a minute."

"I guess," Coburn sighed reluctantly. "Still, it was nice having someone decent to talk to."

"Same here." Romano paused. "Say, you want to meet up tonight? After work?" He stood, preparing to leave.

Coburn also stood. "Sounds like a good idea to me," she agreed, smiling, as they left together.

When the door had shut behind them, Kerry, Jeanie and Doug cheered and it was high fives all round. "I don't believe it! This is going to be great!" Jeanie enthused, a grin breaking out onto her face.

"I just wish we could be there to see it," Doug remarked as he pulled on his coat.

"Me too. But somehow I think they'll get suspicious if we show up at every place they go to," Kerry replied drily as they left Magoo's and headed back to the ER.

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"Anything more from the secret admirer?"

Coburn shook her head and tucked a strand of her brown hair behind her ear. "Odd, that." She set the wine glass down on the table. "Oh well. I think I'd rather be here with _you_ now."

"Mmmm," Romano agreed. "Say, you wanna come back to my place for some coffee or something?"

Coburn nodded. "That is the best idea you've had all evening." Romano helped her with her coat, and even dared to put an arm round her waist. He was pleasantly surprised when she didn't push it away. His fantasies about Elizabeth Corday were instantly forgotten. Janet Coburn had a lot more to offer than her. Elizabeth? She was a mere schoolgirl next to Janet. Janet was a _woman_.

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"Nice place," Coburn murmured as Romano handed her a steaming cup of coffee.

He nodded in agreement. "It's even nicer upstairs," he informed her suggestively.

She put down the coffee on the low table beside her seat. "Well then, you'd better show me."

"Oh, certainly. This way, Lady Coburn." He offered her his hand.

"Why, thank you, Sir Robert." She curtseyed, as though they were dancing at a ball. "Lead me to the upstairs of the Romano Manor."

They went upstairs. Romano showed her all the rooms, ending with the "Master Bedroom".

"Let's stay a little longer in here," he suggested, lying down on the bed.

She flopped down beside him. "So?"

He sat up again. "Come closer." She did so swiftly, and soon the two attendings were locked in a passionate embrace. Romano, after a while, disentangled himself. "Let's take things a little further…" he whispered seductively in Coburn's ear. She nodded enthusiastically in agreement and began unbuttoning his shirt…

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TBC


	3. Part 3

Four Attendings and a PA

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Disclaimer: nope, don't own, make no money, et cetera.

Thanks to my wonderful reviewers! Enjoy!

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Part 3

"What's going on?" Elizabeth Corday asked as she leaned over the front desk in the ER the next day and helping herself to a doughnut.

"How do you mean?" Kerry queried, looking round from the board, reaching out to steady herself with one hand and holding a pen in the other.

"I think I've stepped into the Twilight Zone."

"Huh?"

"Romano's in a very good mood. It's scary," she confessed through a mouthful of doughnut. "I almost want the old Romano back. At least I know where I am with him."

Kerry raised her eyebrows. _That's an interesting way of looking at things._ "Maybe it's love," she suggested knowingly. "That's probably why I'm always so awful. No love life." She smiled self-deprecatingly.

"Oh, come on. You're nowhere near as bad as Romano or Coburn. Maybe they should get together."

"Elizabeth! Need you in here!" Mark yelled from Trauma One.

"Better go." She hurried off, stuffing the rest of the doughnut rather inelegantly into her mouth.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Kerry murmured, allowing herself a secret smile. It looked like things were progressing nicely – although the thought of Romano being nice was, admittedly, somewhat terrifying.

She gulped. What had she and Doug done?

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"Are you _ever_ going to tell me what you and Kerry are up to?" Carol demanded as Doug pulled up at a set of traffic lights on their way to work. "_Please_?" She looked pleadingly at him, making puppy-dog eyes at him. It usually had the desired effect.

"And what if I don't?"

"I'll get it out of Kerry or Jeanie…"

He sighed, relenting. "Okay. We're setting Romano and Coburn up," he said, driving off as the lights changed.

"With who?" Carol asked curiously.

"Each other."

Silence. Then Carol exploded in hysterical laughter. "You're _not_!"

"We are."

Carol's giggles subsided as realisation slowly sunk in. "This will be interesting…"

"You bet. They were already planning to meet up yesterday evening. I wonder what happened…"

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"Is Dr. Coburn around?" Romano demanded of Abby Lockhart.

Abby looked up from the notes she was writing, annoyed at being interrupted. "I'm afraid she's busy. You know, people giving birth, that kind of thing."

"Oh. OK. Tell her I came by." It was a command, not a request.

"Will do." Abby watched him wander off, a stupid grin on his face. She was more than slightly disturbed by it. When he rounded the corner, out of sight and earshot, Abby reached for the phone and dialled down to the ER, whose staff had been the most vocal recently in complaining about him.

"Hello. ER." Damn. She'd got Weaver. Abby's luck always went that way.

"Hi, Dr. Weaver. Erm, it's Abby Lockhart from OB. Um, I just thought I ought to warn you, we're in some kind of parallel universe or something."

"How come?"

"Well, Coburn's been in a great mood all day, so's Romano, _and_ he's just come by looking for her."

"Oh yes? Do tell." Down in the ER, Kerry smirked. Things were going better than she and Doug had imagined.

Abby was surprised at her reaction. "Well, she's not here, _but_," she lowered her voice conspiratorially, "he asked me to tell her he'd dropped by."

"That's extremely interesting. Look, you will keep me posted, won't you?" Kerry requested.

"Sure. Oh, I've gotta go. Bye." Well, that was odd. Kerry Weaver in a good mood, and she seemed awfully interested in the whole romance.

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"Robert!"

"Janet! What a surprise!" Romano cried as he bumped – literally – into her outside at the newspaper and coffee stand at lunchtime. It wasn't really. He'd cleverly engineered it so he'd bump into her. "So, did you have a good time last night?"

She let out a girlish giggle. "Oh, most definitely. Although your bedside manner could use a little practice. Want to come over to mine tonight and I'll give you a few tips? At, say, eight?"

Kerry, hiding the other side of the stand, nearly exploded, and only managed to prevent herself from being given away by stuffing a handkerchief into her mouth. However, by doing this, she ended up nearly choking. Tears streamed down her face and she desperately willed them away. Fortunately, the two she was eavesdropping on chose that moment to head back inside.

"You okay?" Mark asked her, coming up alongside her. Kerry jumped, startled. "God, Mark, don't_ do_ that! You nearly had me in heart failure!" she gasped, still coughing. He put an arm round her and gently helped her to a nearby bench.

"What brought the coughing fit on?" he asked, concerned. "You're not sick, are you?"

Kerry yanked a tissue out of her pocket, shaking her head, and wiped her eyes. "Romano – and – and…Cob –" she broke off, coughing. When she'd calmed down, she continued. "Coburn. What they were saying. I nearly gave myself away by nearly exploding."

Mark nodded. "I see." Not that he did – but it was easier just to pretend that he did. He didn't understand what was going on. Not that there was anything unusual in that.

When the coughing had subsided, he let her lean on him as they went back inside. She definitely knew more than she was letting on. Maybe he could get Carter to get it out of her, seeing as he rented her basement. He'd probably have better luck.

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Kerry scribbled a note for Doug and Jeanie and asked Randi behind the front desk to ensure they got it. Things were definitely looking up. She'd been to ask Coburn about the woman who'd delivered in the ER on Thursday and got a very civil response. Romano was also being nice to everyone. Staff who encountered either or both of them were very confused.

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The doorbell rang. Janet hurriedly threw a towel round her shoulders to prevent them from becoming damp from her newly-washed hair. "You're early," she told the man standing on the doorstep.

Romano grinned and brought his hand out from behind his back. "I brought these for you." He handed over a huge bouquet of flowers and Janet gasped.

"Robert! They're lovely!" She suddenly remembered how cold it was. "Do come in."

"Thank you." He turned his head towards the kitchen. "Mmmm. Something smells good."

Janet blushed. "I thought I'd cook. I even got candles specially."

"I like people who can cook," he remarked as she took his coat and hung it up. "It's true what they say, you know. The way to a man's heart _is_ through his stomach. Certainly this man's heart."

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After the meal, he sat back and smiled contentedly. "Delicious. A good doctor and a good cook. A killer combination." He reached for the wine bottle and refilled the glasses. "Now, about those tips…"

She laughed. "Just let me put the dishes in to soak."

"They can wait," he told her, putting a hand on hers. She shivered as a warm, tingly feeling spread throughout her body.

"Ah, I didn't say I'd _do_ them. I'm just going to soak them, otherwise they'll never be clean. Give me five minutes."

She was out in four and a half, and grabbed his hand. "I promised you those tips. Come hither." They entered the bedroom, which smelled faintly of incense.

"The trick is to relax into the situation. It won't work out right if you're standoffish," she whispered.

He grabbed hold of her. "Show me. Don't just talk me through it. Put me through my paces."

"Very well…"

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TBC


	4. Part 4

Four Attendings and a PA 

**Disclaimer: **Still not mine.

**Thanks** to my reviewers! And **apologies** for taking so long to post this – I've been having problems with my floppy discs. Most of the ones in my room seem to have got corrupted. Grrr.

**Sad news: **for fellow Brits, you'll already know this. The great Ronnie Barker has died, aged 76. Pure comedy genius. We rarely see the likes of him. May his legacy live on forever.

**Gloat: **I've just realised I have yet to gloat about how WE WON THE ASHES!

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Part 4  


"Ah, Doctor Weaver. Up to date with those charts yet?" Romano inquired a fortnight later as he poked his head into the ER lounge. Kerry didn't respond and Romano realised then that she was fast asleep. "Charts!" he barked at her. It startled her, and she jerked awake. The shock caused her to kick her crutch over.

"What, sorry?" she mumbled as she came round properly, blinking blearily at him.

"Charts?" he repeated, slightly more politely this time.

"Uh, they're on the front desk. Randi knows." Kerry waved her hand in the general direction of the front desk. "Can I go back to sleep now? I did finish at midday and it's one now. I'm on again in a few hours."

"Yeah, yeah. Course you can." He disappeared, and Kerry dozed off again.

"Dr. Weaver's charts, please?" he asked of Randi.

Randi obligingly handed them over, snapping her gum as she did so. "All ready and waiting for you, Dr. Romano."

He nodded to her. "Thank you, Miss Fronczak." He briskly strode off, whistling to himself.

"Still the new, reformed Rocket?" Doug asked, ambling into the ER and putting two large boxes of doughnuts down on the desk.

"Yep. I kinda like him this way. Least he's not having a go at the rest of us." Randi responded, helping herself to a doughnut. "Hey, Dr. Ross!" she called after him as he headed towards the lounge.

"What?"

"Be quiet. Weaver's in there. I think she's asleep, but if you want to come out alive, don't wake her. She's kinda tired; pulled a double shift and she's on again later."

Doug went in and noticed Kerry, lying on the sofa, and was careful not to wake her. He didn't really like the idea of waking her, anyway. He valued his life.

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Coburn leaned back in her seat and smiled dreamily. A notebook on her desk lay open, hearts with 'Robert' written inside them drawn all over the page. Things were wonderful in her life. Robert Romano was the best man – _definitely a **man**,_ she thought knowingly to herself – she could ever have met. She found herself thinking what a wonderful thing it was that her so-called 'secret admirer' hadn't shown, and neither had Robert's. The previous evening, they'd sat and talked about all sorts of things, from the Presidential elections to the state of affairs on the London Underground in England. He really was the most _wonderful_ listener, and he knew so much. He was _her_ man.

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"So, who's the lucky girl?" Donald Anspaugh questioned Romano as they scrubbed for surgery.

"Sorry?" Romano looked up, distracted. Anspaugh grinned to himself and repeated the question.

"Oh, just a special woman. I met her a few weeks ago. Nothing big, just a good friend."

"Mmmm-hmmm," Anspaugh agreed, sounding sceptical. But Romano was too busy daydreaming. Tonight he'd take her out to Gianni's, a posh Italian restaurant out of town. He knew the guy who ran it. It was a wonderfully romantic place – soft lights, candles, waiters in white shirts, black waistcoats and suits with white towels draped over their arms, and romantic music. Perfect. Tonight he'd tell her he loved her.

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He took in the sight of Janet in front of him. The skirt of the dark forest green dress hung loosely from her waist to her ankles. It was strappy, and low-cut. A pale green silk stole was tossed casually around her neck and her shoulders, and the look was completed by the black heels she wore on her feet. Her hair was half up, and curly wisps fell down the side of her face, framing it perfectly.

"_Wow_," Robert breathed. "You look _stunning_."

"You're not so bad yourself."

"May I escort Madam to Gianni's?" he asked, reaching for the hand she offered.

"Why, certainly." She noticed every detail about him – the plain, dark suit, the green shirt that was so pale it was almost white. _Great minds think alike_, she thought. He even wore a tie. Very few men did now, out of work. She liked it. Although her plans for later on in the evening – with which she was sure that he was more than willing to comply – involved the romoval of said tie.

She giggled to herself.

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They arrived at the restaurant in the taxi. Clearly, Robert had spared no expense, and Janet felt honoured to be the woman he had chosen.

By pure coincidence, unbeknown to the two attendings, Doug Ross had also come to Gianni's with Carol Hathaway, and would be seated next to them. Neither couple knew about the other.

"This is _amazing_," Janet breathed in his ear, gazing round the restaurant in awe.

He squeezed her hand. "That's why I wanted to bring you here," he told her. He'd never been this happy since he'd made the school baseball team in sixth grade, and smashed a basketball in Tom Hartley's face for calling him Shorty.

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"You ever been here before?" Doug asked Carol as they waited for their main meal to arrive.

She nodded hesitantly. "Tag brought me here once, when it was a French restaurant. But I prefer it here with _you_," she assured him quickly as a man and a woman walking past her back were seated in the section (there was a thin partition between each table, three-quarters the height of the walls). She looked puzzled as Doug stared after the couple. "What's up?" she inquired.

"Rom – Romano and…and…C-C-Coburn," he spluttered, not taking his eyes off the wall behind Carol.

A confused look flitted across her face, then realisation dawned. "You mean…" she hissed, cocking her head towards the partition behind her. Doug just nodded, mouth open.

"Oh, _hell_," Carol muttered. Just what they _didn't_ want. Then an idea hit her and she leaned forwards. "Have you got that mini-tape recorder?"

"Yeah. Why – oh!" Doug's eyes widened as comprehension dawned. "You want to record the conversation!"

"Too right. And I can think of a PA and another attending who'd be _very_ interested…" Carol said as the waiter arrived with their meal.

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"And they didn't notice you?"

"Nope. They were too busy gazing into each other's eyes."

"How romantic," Jeanie sighed dreamily.

Doug groaned. "Don't _you_ go all romantic on me as well."

"Why? Did Carol?"

"No; _she_ just found it hilarious. Actually, I meant Kerry. That was _after_ she got the giggles for ten minutes." Doug rolled his eyes. "Are all women the same?"

"Probably," Jeanie replied cheerfully.

The lounge door opened and Kerry came in. "Sorry. Maggie Doyle wanted to ask me something."

Doug pulled the tape recorder out of his locker and placed it on the table. He signalled for the other two to quieten and pressed "Play".

"Thank you so much for this, Robert." A knife and fork clinked together on a plate.

"I wanted to show you how much you mean to me." There was a gurgling noise as wine was poured.

A pause, presumably while they drank the wine.

"I – erm." Romano coughed nervously.

"What? Is something wrong?" Coburn's voice sounded genuinely concerned.

"No, no. Not at all. I, er, I just wanted to say –" another pause "– how much I love you."

Long pause. Doug clicked off the tape. "Well?"

"Wa_hoo_!" Jeanie cried, as she and Kerry high-fived and hugged each other, before turning to Doug and doing the same with him.

"I never envisioned Romano saying that to _anyone_, let alone _Coburn_!" Kerry exclaimed, a grin on her face.

At that moment, Mark stuck his head into the lounge. "Multiple MVA, guys. Told them we could take four major, six minor."

"ETA?" Doug asked, hurriedly stashing the tape recorder in his locker.

"Five minutes."

"Coming."

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**TBC**


	5. Part 5

Four Attendings and a PA

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Disclaimer: NOT MINE, MAKE NO MONEY.

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A/N: apologies if the trauma sequence is inaccurate; I'm not a medical professional; I know very little about emergency medicine. I'm doing French, German, sign language and the European Computer Driving Licence at college and working as a receptionist in my optician's, and I want to do a degree in English Literature.

I also apologise for the delay in posting this – my parents FINALLY got a new family computer (we had the old one for 7 ½ years, Windows 95, and it was giving us lots of hassle) but it's taken longer than I anticipated to get hooked up to the Internet.

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Part 5

"Someone want a surgeon?"

"In here, Peter!" Kerry called. "_If _this guy ever makes it up to the OR."

"What's up?" He pulled on a yellow trauma apron and gloves.

Kerry struggled to intubate. "Bowel's ruptured, ditto for spleen, GCS of six and –"

"Dr. Weaver! We've got a tension pneumo!" Conni called.

"Peritoneal lavage is positive!" Carter added.

"OK. What are his sats?" Benton barked.

"Dropping to eighty-one percent," Conni announced.

The surgeon swore. "This guy's bad." Benton began ordering everyone around, as he usually did.

"Sats now seventy-six percent."

Benton groaned. "Hurry up with that intubation!"

"I can't get the tube in," Kerry snapped, irritated at his impatience.

"Try harder!"

"Let me try," Carter offered. Kerry gladly relinquished the laryngoscope and the tube to him as they swapped places.

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"We need Coburn _now_!" Mark yelled. "This woman's fifteen weeks pregnant!"

"I'll page her!" Randi shouted back as they headed to Trauma Two.

Within two minutes, Coburn was there. The woman was unconscious, and tubed. Mark had managed to intubate her quite quickly, unlike Kerry, as it had been more straightforward.

The team worked on her, Coburn performing an ultrasound.

"Well? Baby okay?" asked Mark.

Coburn switched off the screen of the monitor. "Yep. Kid seems perfectly intact. Doesn't look like it's harmed at all." She nodded towards Trauma One. "How's the husband?"

"Don't know. You'll have to ask Kerry." He pulled off the gloves. "You want her up in OB?"

"Yeah. I want to keep a close eye on her and the kid, just to make sure they're OK." She left for Trauma One, where the others were working on the husband. It was evidently bad.

"V-fib!" Benton shouted suddenly. "Crash cart!" Conni grabbed the paddles and handed them to him.

"200, charging." The defibrillator whined.

"Charged," Conni called.

"Clear!"

The man's body jerked with the charge.

"Still v-fib!" Kerry called.

The process was repeated several times.

"Asystole," Kerry announced, sounding suddenly tired. "Time of death, 11:48." She was suddenly aware of Coburn in the doorway. "Sorry, Janet."

Coburn pulled a sympathetic face. "You can't win 'em all. Guess I have to tell the wife that her unborn child's fatherless."

"I could do that if you want," Kerry offered, but Coburn had already left.

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"Want to drown your sorrows together?" Robert asked her later. "I lost three patients today." He put a hand on her shoulder and she looked up.

"Sure. That'd be great." She was exhausted, and her voice clearly showed it.

"I know a great place…"

"You know lots of great places." She smiled, in spite of the hard day she'd had.

"I know a lot of _people_," he corrected her, slipping an arm round her waist. "Old pals from school, college, same hangouts, et cetera." They walked out of the hospital doors, straight past Doug and Carol, although they didn't see them.

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"Targets just left. Didn't see us," Doug reported into a mobile phone. "Headed for Magoo's."

"Received. In position by the door," Jeanie assured him. She glanced at Kerry and nodded. Kerry's blue eyes flicked towards the street. "I can see all four of them," she announced.

"Hear that, Doug?"

"No."

"She can see them and you."

"They're coming in!" Kerry hissed, leaning across the table.

"Keep you posted." Jeanie ended the call and sat back. Romano and Coburn walked in and sat at the bar. Coburn turned round and saw them. "Back in a minute," she said.

Romano nodded and Coburn joined Jeanie and Kerry. "Hi," she said cheerfully.

"How's the pregnant MVA woman doing?" Jeanie asked her, raising her eyebrows at Kerry. Kerry just shrugged.

"Fine, physically. Her husband's death, though. Poor woman. She's devastated."

"We did our best!" Kerry defended herself sharply, flicking her fringe out of her eyes.

Coburn looked up at her, surprised. "Hey, I wasn't saying you didn't!" she replied. "What makes you think I would?"

Kerry shrugged. "Doesn't matter," she muttered. Coburn looked almost hurt, then turned to Jeanie.

"You got a guy, then?" Jeanie asked cheekily, and Coburn blushed, looking down at her hands. "Well, er…kind of, yeah." She nodded shyly at Romano. "Me and, uh, Robert."

"Wow! I'm so happy for you!" Jeanie cried happily, giving Coburn a hug across the table. "So _you're_ the reason he's been so easygoing recently. What d'you make of that, Kerry?"

Kerry shrugged and held her hands up, doing a convincing job of feigning bewilderment. "I honestly don't know."

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A few minutes later, Romano ambled over. "Ready?"

Coburn looked up. "Sure, if you are." She turned to Jeanie. "See ya." As they headed out of the door, she leaned against Romano and he slipped his arm around her waist.

Jeanie and Kerry exchanged raised eyebrow expressions over the rims of their coffee cups.

Doug and Carol chose that moment to come in. Jeanie hastily slipped in next to Kerry. "Well?"

"They're going to one of the posh wine bars. One of my neighbours was complaining about the prices. Apparently a bottle of wine can cost _over a hundred dollars_! A little out of our league," Doug reported.

"Couldn't be bothered to follow them," Carol added. "But I suspect one thing leads to another…"

"You don't think they've _already_…?" gasped Jeanie, enjoying herself immensely.

Carol shrugged and grinned wickedly. "It's not unknown. I remember _our_ first date. Doug rang the doorbell, and the next thing I knew, we were on the kitchen floor!" This prompted her, Doug and Jeanie to enter a round of rather loud laughter. Kerry snorted and suppressed the urge to make a snarky comment – admittedly with great difficulty.

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"You ever had anyone special before?" Robert asked, sitting back on the plush velvet-covered seats.

Janet nodded. "Once. His name was Steve. He was in my university class and we dated for three and a half years. Then we went to med school together. I think I'd probably have ended up marrying him." She sighed wistfully.

"But you didn't?" Robert prompted tactfully.

Janet shook her head. "No. We were third-year students, both on our ER rotation. Everything was so ordinary. Then we got news of a major gang shootout. It was bad, really bad." She paused as her voice caught in her throat. This was an extremely painful subject for her.

When she'd regained her composure, she felt able to continue. "One gang leader's older brother came into the ER. His brother had died, see. He demanded to know who had 'let' his brother die. Steve tried to tell him – tried to explain his injuries were too bad." Janet was crying openly now. "Steve hadn't even been treating his brother, but – but he pulled out a gun. He shot Steve, right in the chest, about six times. He didn't stand a chance –" She couldn't go on, and Robert took her in his arms until she could cry no more. "I'm just scared of it happening again, of getting too close…"

"Don't be. I'm not going anywhere."

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TBC


	6. Epilogue

Four Attendings and a PA

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Disclaimer: if you've got this far and _still_ think they're mine, I can, once again, assure you that they are not and that they never will be. Hmph.

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A/N: I'm setting this in season 5, when Carter's renting Kerry's basement. Just to reiterate that fact.

Final chapter! Sory it's taken so long to post, but things have been _insane_ at my end just recently

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Epilogue

(Three months later)

"…So we felt it only fair to let you all know that yes, we _are_ seeing each other," Coburn announced to the ER staff. She and Romano had chosen a quiet time in the day to announce to the ER their relationship.

The staff cheered. "We wondered when you'd finally admit it!" Randi yelled, pulling a little book out of her pocket. In it was listed the staff's bets regarding when Romano and Coburn would come clean about their relationship.

But Romano hadn't finished. He cleared his throat. "Um, I'd like to take this opportunity to ask a very important question."

"Don't tell me – who's willing to do overtime this weekend," Doug wisecracked, raising a laugh, and earning a dirty look from Romano. Carol and Kerry exchanged resigned expressions, Carol rolling her eyes and Kerry shaking her head.

"Ahem. If I may continue…" He dug his hand into his lab coat pocket and pulled out something small and box-like. "Janet." He dropped to one knee. "Marry me."

Silence, apart from a few gasps from the female members of staff.

Coburn nodded slightly. "Of course I will."

Then Jeanie and Carol let out a loud noise that sounded somewhere in between a cheer and a scream. A moment later the rest of the staff joined in. Coburn was hugged by a lot of the staff. When it was Kerry's turn, the shorter attending took Coburn by the shoulders and looked her straight in the eye. "You mustn't forget to mention Doug Ross, Jeanie and me in the speeches."

"Why?" Coburn looked perplexed.

"Because it was thanks to _us_ that you two got together in the first place!"

"How'd you figure that?"

"Doug and I wrote the notes, telling you to meet at Magoo's that day," Kerry explained. By now everyone had quietened and was listening intently. "Don't you get it? There aren't any secret admirers; they never existed!"

Coburn and Romano looked at each other, then at Doug and Kerry, astounded. Coburn recovered first. She looked into Kerry's eyes. "Thank you for bringing us together." She hesitated, and then caught Jeanie's eye. "Would you and Jeanie like to be the bridesmaids?"

"Thought you'd never ask," Jeanie replied cheekily, and then nodded, serious. "Thank you for asking."

"I'm honoured," Kerry said, as she and Coburn were joined by Jeanie in a three-way hug.

Romano cleared his throat again. "Well, I guess if the other two conspirators are going to be bridesmaids, how would you feel about being my best man, Doctor Ross?"

Doug was momentarily speechless – something of a first for him. "Like Kerry. Honoured. Thank you for considering me," he told Romano when he'd found his voice.

"This calls for a mass celebration. Doc Magoo's after work!" Carol declared.

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The wedding was one of the largest ever seen between two members of the County General staff. Both Romano and Coburn, it transpired, were from large families, and both were well-off financially. Doug, naturally, pretended to lose the ring – he told Carol later that he wanted _some_ revenge on Romano for everything he'd done in the past, but Carol wasn't impressed because he'd pretended for slightly longer than was tolerable. Overall it was a very successful wedding, and Doug's best man speech was full of his trademark wisecracks.

Later that evening, following the reception, the newlyweds left for their honeymoon. Many of the ER staff stayed until the end. Doug, Mark, and even Benton (surprisingly) got completely plastered. Elizabeth hauled Benton, mumbling about Shaft, off home with her, Carol hauled Doug off, and Carter and Kerry – somehow – managed to get Mark, who was singing a painfully off-key version of Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer, back to theirs, where he passed out on the couch.

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And, as in all good fairy tales, they all lived happily ever after, although Doug and Kerry returned to their bickering, and Romano went back to being, well, Romano. Enough said.

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THE END


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